Doubts cast on Action Man’s military record: “Not a model soldier”

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Former armed forces personnel have cast serious doubt on the daring exploits of one of the UK’s best known military heroes. The scepticism has surfaced as Action Man, real name Dave Patterson from Bromsgrove, prepares to sell off his collection of medals and uniforms.

Cpl. John Granger, who served with Patterson in Afghanistan, described him as something of a poser. “Put him in any position and he’d sort of stay there.” On an infamous grenade incident, when Action Man purportedly threw back a Taliban grenade they had lobbed in, Granger added, “If he was throwing a grenade you just wanted to dive for cover. He could never get to grips with it and had this weird throwing action where the grenade would end up just in front of him.”

There are also misgivings about Patterson’s exploits as a paratrooper, deep sea diver and tank commander. Sgt. Jim Tolley, who knew him in the 60s, is not surprised these accusations are now surfacing. “Figures. The guy’s a fantasist who just liked dressing up. Including that time he was a Nazi Stormtrooper. I think Prince Harry was at the same party.”

Questions have also been raised about the timing of the memorabilia sale so close to Remembrance Day. Action Man himself refused to comment further on his military record, but simply swivelled his eyes and said he was having to sell now to fund a hip replacement as he was suffering from joint pain and had severe mobility issues.

Perhaps the final word should go to another of Action Man’s former comrades who simply said, “Generations of children have been lied to and I just wish he had the balls to be honest with them.”

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2020 by

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