Gareth Malone admits defeat over GCSE Music

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Known for inspiring choral singing, Mr. Malone has failed to get a group of 30 teenagers to play ‘Baby Shark’ on the recorder. Surprisingly, being taught last period on a Friday, does not have the same allure as appearing in the Royal Albert Hall or on a primetime TV show.

It turns out that coursework deadlines, tracking and assessments are not as motivational, as promising the students they would get to meet Graham Norton. Malone, who normally relies on enthusiastic participants, has had to contend with the fact that half the class were only there because they wanted to avoid taking P.E.

The TV star admitted it was challenging to get the group to compose in the style of Bach chorales, using just a single maraca. His agent explained: ‘Normally Gareth harnesses raw talent – but in this case it’s just raw’.

Asked what he intended to do to inspire them to sing, his agent said: ‘Gareth will do what every teacher does, just threaten them. Either they master this choir-thing or they’ll all end up working on the tills at Tesco’.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2020 by

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