‘It appears we may have got it all wrong’ a NASA spokesman admitted today during a hastily arranged press conference at The Kennedy Space Centre, Houston. ‘It has come to our attention that set procedures were not followed during the taking of the original pictures of space but hey, we’ve all made that mistake. That sunset summer holiday snap in Crete, the graduation hand shake, a child’s first steps, those never to be repeated moments captured instead with a deep, infinite blackness, it’s easily done’.
This will cause further embarrassment for NASA as it comes just weeks after the disclosure that the recently captured supernova in Ursa Minor was actually the photographer’s thumb creeping into the frame.
NASA has been working hard to develop its technology to cope with the demands of the space age. ‘It can be tricky taking photos in space’ said astronaut Eugene A. Cernan. ‘Those big gloves make pressing the button really difficult. You try setting the timer and running back into position wearing those cumbersome space suits; it’s harder than you might think.’
A technological flaw had been identified in equipment used during previous space missions. On one particular model of camera the zoom function had been incorrectly calibrated. ‘For all these years we thought the stars were extremely far away when in actual fact they’re just really, really small’. Dr. Edward C. Stone, Voyager mission Chief Scientist explained.
‘And of course there’s the developing process which can be fraught with problems, like the time our film from the Voyager Mission got mixed up at the local 7-Eleven and we ended up with some guy’s tourist snaps of the Grand Canyon, I don’t know who was more disappointed, us or him. That was a few billion dollars down the worm hole.’
‘Of course we use Photoshop for our images nowadays’ he added.’It gives a much clearer picture of what space actually looks like. We wouldn’t want people to think we were wasting their money.’