Liberal Democrats are “hoping to learn from Trump’s tactics”


The Liberal Democrats have admitted that they are closely monitoring President Trump’s current tactics and hoping to learn lessons from them, after an official spokesperson was seen in a garden centre car park shouting at passers-by in the hope that they turned out to be journalists.

“Hi, hello, it’s the Liberal Democrats,” the spokesperson was heard shouting. “Hello? Remember us, the Liberal Democrats? No? You know, Ed Davey. No? Jo Swinson, then, you must remember…oh you don’t. What about Tim, oh what was his name? Tim…it’s on the tip of my tongue. Tim Something-or-other. Or was it Jim? Anyway, Nick Clegg? Paddy Ashdown? Anyone remember the Liberal Democrats?”

They hope to be able to improve on Trump’s actions as “nobody knows more about losing General Elections than the Liberal Democrats”.

“Trump’s refusal to recognise the election results and concede power is simply political genius,” the official spokesperson said. “We just wish we’d thought of it in 2015 and stopped Clegg from conceding the role of Deputy Prime Minister.”

“We have also heard a lot about his successful use of Twitter to reach out to his followers and spread bare-faced lies,” the spokesperson said. “It is really inspiring and we have decided we need to get onto these new, modern ways of communication, so we’ve invested in a brand-new fax machine.”

The party is also selling baseball caps emblazoned with a new slogan which it feels sum up its position perfectly, “Make Britain A Little Bit Better Again”.

The spokesperson concluded by saying: “Farron! That was it, that was his name: Jim Farron. Who could forget him?”

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2020 by

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