National outpouring of grief as Cummings leaves


There were scenes of grown men weeping in the streets and whole families queuing to sign books of remembrance following the resignation of Dominic Cummings.

‘Why oh why did he need to go?’ was a common refrain as remainers and leavers joined together as never before as Cummings climbed into his car and drove off for, presumably, his last eye test as a government advisor.

‘He was an inspiration with his leadership skills – I’d follow him anywhere,’ said a person who was now residing in Barnard Castle but was originally from London. ‘If I’d passed my eyesight test I’d be following him now,’ he added. Thousands of UK residents have claimed that they didn’t waste a minute self isolating or following cringe-worth advice after being mentored by Cummings, who tended to lead by example.

‘Where will Boris get his three word sound bites from now?’ was asked by literally one person living in number 11 Downing Street. ‘contract – award – friend, no, that’s not it,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Well, it is, but I’m sure Dom would put it better.’

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2020 by

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