Choice of best vaccine may come down to flavour

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With rival vaccines competing to combat COVID-19, consumers may be forced to choose between more trivial factors; like shiny packaging or does it come with a bendable straw. Now that they all claim to be over 90% effective, the public are spoilt for choice, compared to the rival track and trace systems, which were all 100% bogus.

Unless you happen to be in the 10% who the vaccine turns green, brand differentiation becomes all important. Targeted marketing is more vital than success rates; with Bubble Gum flavoured vaccines for kids, Kale flavour for health fanatics and 45% proof for anyone missing the pubs.

Vaccines will be forced to make outlandish claims, that they can cure dandruff and erectile disfunction. They will give 90% immunity, 30% off your rent and 20% off at Sports Direct. Of course, you can just inject yourself with Chateau Lafite, which is only 0.0000000001% effective, but tastes great.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2020 by

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