With an unanticipated high Covid death toll and the closure of entertainment venues, psychics and mediums are facing a backlog of afterlife callers wanting to contact their loved ones with generic messages of very little significance.
Doris Atkins, who as been a conduit for the afterlife for over thirty years, can not recall a time like it. “So many people wanting to make contact from the other side, but I just can’t put them in touch with anyone. I’ve got this particularly persistent caller whose name begins with a D, or an F. Might be a W. Jeff or Robert possibly? Does the name Graham mean anything to you?”
Medium Michael Moondragon says it’s no use pretending any more. “We must let the deceased have their say, whatever it is and however vague it may be. Their loved ones deserve to know, for a very reasonable fee, that death is not the end. It’s the start of a very rewarding, for us as well as them, new relationship. We need theatres and arenas back open.”
Such is the severity of the crisis that psychic leaders are calling on Government to do more. Mystic Maureen reads Tarot, tea leaves and toenails, but occasionally will communicate with departed loved ones for a supplementary fee. She is in no doubt what needs to happen. “The Tories need to get their act together and get dying back to sensible levels. Mind you, I do conduct most of my business via premium phone line so I can’t really complain.”
Asked if he thought the situation would improve any time soon, Michael Moondragon was unsure. “No good asking me. I’m not a fortune teller.”