Found guilty of breaching the Ministerial Code for bullying, no further action will be taken against Priti Patel – other than a request from the PM’s Office for photos. Rather than seen as a problem, many repressed MPs are now queueing up to be punished by the Home Secretary.
With her starched high-collared jackets and cheeky smirk, Priti Patel has become a favourite among those aroused by the idea of mixing Kim Jong-Un with Mary Poppins. Said one privately educated Minister: ‘Often after a long day at the office, I like to unwind with someone yelling profanities at me, followed by a short bout of flagellation. I can’t see what all the fuss is about? God, I miss Nanny.’
Immigrants have complained that her laws are abusive, while Ministers have complained that they have not been abused enough. Commented one. ‘She’s incredibly reactionary – all she talks about are locking people up and stripping them of their human rights. Stripped right down to their underwear – imagine that? Phwaor, what’s not to like! She even favours the death penalty…excuse me, I just need to take a cold shower’.
Asked if he thought that she should apologize to the bullied civil servants: ‘Apologise? Lucky, muckers. They should be paying her’.