spokeself for Santa Claus has admitted that millions of letters from children containing their present wishlists have been dumped over fears they could be contaminated with coronavirus. “They are contagious little bastards after all, and Father Christmas certainly falls in the ‘vulnerable’ category right now.”
North Pole recycle bins stuffed with heartfelt demands for the latest, must have toys, bear testimony to the extreme caution with which all correspondence to the Man In Red has been treated.
The elf went on to say that letters were a waste of time anyway. “No chance of Santa popping out for a jolly sleigh ride with a pandemic raging.” Asked how parents will explain the present deficiency to their disappointed brood he simply said, “They’ll make something up. They usually do.”