A man who voted to remain in the European Union in the 2016 referendum has accepted accusations that the impending calamity of a no-deal Brexit is entirely down to him and other pro-EU voters.
46-year-old Edinburgh man Fenton Barnes conceded that the blame for the complete Brexit mess about to engulf the country can be laid squarely at his door despite the fact that he didn’t vote for it and still believes it is a monumentally idiotic idea.
‘A man called ‘Bulldog Barry’ told me on Twitter the other day that it would be my fault if Brexit turned out to be a disaster because I was a ‘remoaner and a traitor’ who should get behind the country or go and live somewhere else’ says Barnes.
‘Actually he spelt it ‘cuntry ‘without the ‘O’ and I couldn’t tell if this was intended as a snide insult or if he just couldn’t spell properly and was as thick as pigshit. When I looked at his Twitter bio and saw the picture of him doing a Nazi salute beside Churchill’s statue I suspected it could be the latter’.
‘Anyway I realised that he was probably right and that by not voting for Brexit in 2016 and then spending the next 4 years pointing out the pitfalls of this economic and culturally ruinous policy I had completely undermined the whole process and that I and not the political architects of this complete clusterfuck are entirely to blame’.
‘I expect that if Boris Johnson saw that pithy remark I tweeted a couple of weeks ago about Liam Fox saying it would be the ‘easiest deal in history’ then he would rightly feel undermined going into the Brexit negotiations’.
‘I had thought Johnson was a complete charlatan who only joined the Leave campaign to further this own tawdry political ambitions and that he was a frontman for a group of ruthless profiteering fanatics who care only about enriching themselves at the expense of others but now I see that it was in fact my fault all along. What have I done? I’m so sorry’.
‘And while I’m at it I’d like to apologise to the drunk driver who crashed into me last weekend, it was entirely my fault and I never should have left my car parked in the driveway’.