No animal was harmed in the making of this film


…Apart from the calf in the date scene at the restaurant, when he ordered the filet mignon.
– Well you gotta ‘ave the steak dinner otherwise the hero looks like a right tight arse.
Oh, and the lobster boiled alive for her thermador spectacular.
– Goes without saying.
The 1,420 chickens supplied by the caterers and consumed by the crew during shooting?
– No one’s gonna get gaffers and best boys to eat tofu.
Ah, what about the rendered fats from pigs that went into the high-grade make-up?
– Well, it’s the industry standard… you gotta have the high-grade make-up.
And the palm trees the art director had moved for the beach scene which meant four micro-ecosystems were destroyed.
– MICRO-ecosystems… no one’s going to notice they’ve gone missing, eh?
OK, but there were the 17 rare mammals who lost their habitats to provide the materials to build the ballroom set.
– They didn’t actually bludgeon the animals on camera.
The deer skin blankets at the ski chalet, and the wall-mounted moose heads?
– Faux deer skin don’t win you no Oscars.
The fleets of truck drivers who got all the equipment out to the desert for the battle scenes… they did hit a few…
– That’s not actually in the making of the film though, is it? I mean, they could have run those over shifting the equipment back afterwards.
And all the flights to the sets in Venice and Rome…
– OK, OK, apart from the calf, the lobster, 1,420 chickens, pigs, insects, rare mammals, deer, moose, roadkill, the odd bird strike, and an unknown number due to the production contribution to climate change, no animals were harmed in the making of this film.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2020 by

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