A man has realised that the time of year has arrived for the necessary roasting of a big ham joint, it has emerged.
Dave Jones from Daggenham said: ‘At Christmas time big-ham-making falls under the man’s purview. That and, erm, sawing the end of the tree off and carving some turkey while standing up.
‘It is also a task that needs completing no less than ten days before Christmas day. That is because it needs to be available as a consistent meat presence throughout the Christmas period.
‘So, I sourced the big ham. That is another more considered way of saying bought, apparently. Then there’s the cooking. First, you soak the big ham in brine for a couple of days.
‘Then you boil it for hours. Then you leave if for more hours. Then you rest it on a board. Basically, you put it on a board. Then you score it. That’s cutting with a knife. Then you go with your preferred glaze. There’s your honeys, your treacles or your marmalades.
‘Then you roast it for, well, more hours. After that, you just leave it for a few minutes. Only kidding. More hours. So, you’re looking at three to four days all in. Five tops. But is so worth the wait.
His wife commented: ‘The important thing is it keeps Dave busy. I haven’t the heart to tell him, no one likes it’.