Man making a big ham

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A man has realised that the time of year has arrived for the necessary roasting of a big ham joint, it has emerged.

Dave Jones from Daggenham said: ‘At Christmas time big-ham-making falls under the man’s purview.  That and, erm, sawing the end of the tree off and carving some turkey while standing up.

‘It is also a task that needs completing no less than ten days before Christmas day. That is because it needs to be available as a consistent meat presence throughout the Christmas period.

‘So, I sourced the big ham. That is another more considered way of saying bought, apparently. Then there’s the cooking. First, you soak the big ham in brine for a couple of days.

‘Then you boil it for hours. Then you leave if for more hours. Then you rest it on a board. Basically, you put it on a board. Then you score it. That’s cutting with a knife. Then you go with your preferred glaze. There’s your honeys, your treacles or your marmalades.

‘Then you roast it for, well, more hours. After that, you just leave it for a few minutes.  Only kidding.  More hours.  So, you’re looking at three to four days all in.  Five tops.  But is so worth the wait.

His wife commented:  ‘The important thing is it keeps Dave busy.  I haven’t the heart to tell him, no one likes it’.

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2020 by

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