Following reports circulating around Westminster, a Downing Street spokesperson confirmed last night The Prime Minister received an official visit from the Ghost of Christmas Chaos.
Speaking to reporters the spokesman said: ‘Just after midnight, the PM was woken by an apparition. The Ghost told him it was normally his job to organize roadworks on the motorways at Christmas, close down major railway stations and encourage Spanish air controllers to go on strike.”
‘Off the record, the PM was expecting a major bollocking, but the Ghost said that with Brexit chaos, schools chaos, Christmas chaos, port chaos and food chaos Mr Johnson was doing a much better job than him. He appointed the PM as a non-executive director of Armageddon Inc, resigned on the spot, shook hands and walked straight through the wall.’