The BBC has announced that it will broadcast a Covid briefing Christmas Day Special hosted by Health Secretary Matt Hancock and inexplicably popular comedian Michael McIntyre. The briefing will feature a host of special guests and will climax with McIntyre reading out the latest number of deaths while Hancock reprises his famous rendition of Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me now’ while dressed as the coronavirus.
‘With the newly discovered strains and the infection rate spiralling out of control we expect the deaths to be very high on Christmas Day,’ said Hancock.
‘So as its Christmas we thought it would be a good time to have some fun and try and lift the gloom a bit.’
‘Michael McIntyre will do one of his hilarious routines about forgetting to wear your mask in Sainsbury’s and don’t you just hate it when your parents die a sad and lonely death in a care home.’
‘And Romesh Ranganathan will interview lorry drivers in Kent about what it’s like spending Christmas Day shitting into a plastic bag and fighting with the police instead of at home with their loved ones. It will be fun for all the family; or what’s left of your family at least.’
The show is also set to feature an appearance by Dominic Cummings driving a toy car around the Downing Street briefing room while blindfolded and a quiz where contestants can win multi-million pound contracts if they can convince a panel of celebrities that they are friendly with a government minister.
However, it is understood that the BBC has abandoned the idea of having Prime Minister Boris Johnson vaccinated live on air.
‘We decided against the idea of a live vaccination,’ a BBC spokesperson confirmed.
‘With Matt Hancock and Michael McIntyre already on the show we thought the PM getting a needle stuck in his arm might just be one prick too many.’