Christmas dinner in support bubble likened to ‘disappointing threesome’

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Christmas dinner this year with just his 80-year-old parents for company, child-less, single 44-year-old Tom, likened it to a threesome he once had: ‘At the end there was the same feeling that if I’d made better decisions and done more, we might not have all felt so disappointed.’

Though Tom had his recent Coronavirus test come back negative, his parents, Geoff and Jan, still felt a frank talk on mortality was necessary before serving the sponge trifle: ‘Ignoring death doesn’t make it go away,’ said Geoff. ‘If that tactic worked Tom wouldn’t still be visiting us.’

‘We decided,’ said Jan speaking after dinner, ‘when Geoff dies, in recognition of his tendency for fly tipping, we’ll throw his body over onto the railway owned land at the back of the house, where he’s historically dumped most of our household’s uncollectable waste.’

‘And Jan is going punk in her old age,’ Geoff said proudly. ‘Her New Year’s resolution is to get DNR tattooed on her neck.’ And like Jan, all three of them hoped that 2020, after the 31st December, would not, under any circumstances, be resuscitated.

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Posted: Dec 25th, 2020 by

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