Man placing the one present he wrapped under the tree like he’s a superhero


38-year-old John Simmons from Basingstoke is feeling pretty impressed with himself after placing his sole effort of wrapping under the Christmas tree.

Simmons commented, “I thought I’d go the extra mile this year because the missis has had such a tough one what with me pretending to work full-time at home while she home-schooled the kids and, well, also worked full-time at home.

‘I decided to forego the usual go-to gift-wrapping service online option and instead treat her to the personal touch. By personal touch, I mean the stuff she was using until four in the morning wrapping the kids’ stuff in.

“Well, it turned out there wasn’t much of that left so it was a hybrid of two jagged strips of that and a cut-up page from my F1 monthly of Lewis Hamilton’s nose and chin. I know, right?’

‘She also ran out of sellotape but luckily I had some trusty duct tape on hand. Technically the end result is more tape than paper so I better keep the Stanley knife close by.’

‘And of course I’ve bought her favourite perfume. Eau de parfum. She loves that. Ah, you should have seen her face when I placed it under the tree. It made it all worth it.’

His wife, Sarah commented “Eau de perfume, right? Yeah, he thinks it is a luxury brand of perfume. At least it came in a beautifully wrapped box and ribbon last year. Now it looks like something he’s returning to Amazon.’

‘Hands off girls. He’s all mine. Twat.’

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Posted: Dec 25th, 2020 by

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