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Daily Archives: December 27, 2020
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Johnson lauds “new Covid variant exports”
During his Boxing Day address to the nation, Prime Minister Johnson today praised the efforts of UK exporters to supply the new Covid variant to many of the country’s trading partners. ‘I want to congratulate those citizens and businesses who have supplied NCV, [read...]
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Priti Patel sets up Etsy store selling knuckle dusters
In an attempt to soften her public image, Home Secretary Priti Patel is to market her own range of knuckle dusters, flick knives and Japanese throwing stars. One Home Office source explained. ‘A lot of us were concerned that Priti might occasionally appear a little bit tetchy. [read...]
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Police seize collection of knives from terror suspect’s kitchen
A Birmingham man is being detained by anti-terror police after a raid on his home uncovered a ‘horrifying’ array of weapons, which included steak knives, a hammer, and an 8-inch serrated blade which the man claimed was ‘for cutting bread’. [read...]
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Brexit Deal wins that freed us from the EU: digested, so you don’t see it’s shit
What’s that? You voted for Brexit and absolutely approve of the fantastic deal Boris won for us single handedly from the EU? Mais oui bien sûr, geezer, but naturally you haven’t got the time, or can’t be arsed to trawl through 1350 or more pages of fine detail, [read...]