Johnson lauds “new Covid variant exports”

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During his Boxing Day address to the nation, Prime Minister Johnson today praised the efforts of UK exporters to supply the new Covid variant to many of the country’s trading partners.

‘I want to congratulate those citizens and businesses who have supplied NCV, without cost to the recipients, to most nations with whom we have any contact whatsoever. As you will see from today’s news, several countries have now identified the arrival of NCV and I can assure you that many more nations will discover this seasonal gift from Britain over the coming days and weeks.’

With his right hand resting on his copy of the Brexit deal file, Mr. Johnson continued:

‘Now, some may question the rationale behind such a strategy but, rather like the sacrifice of a prawn during the early stages of a langoustine et saumon fumé starter or, indeed, an unconventional Nimzo-Indian defence, the cost of transporting NCV worldwide will be more than offset by the resulting sales of our British vaccines, currently being developed and tested by close friends of the Cabinet, Conservative Party donors and Matt Hancock. The profits from vaccine sales will dwarf expenditure and mark the UK’s post-EU economy with a massive boost. As Caesar quipped, ‘Veni, Covidi, Vacci’.’

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2020 by

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