What’s in the Brexit Museum?


Following the Government’s recent an appeal for exhibits for a Brexit museum, the first exhibits have been announced:

Bend your own British banana: Fun for all the family. Bring in your straight, EU bananas and learn how to make them bendy using back-issues of the Sun and pure, old-fashioned Britishness

MedEUvil punishments: Explore the dark past of the EU through a grotesque exhibition of the EU’s sinister torture devices, including a hair-raising range of vacuum cleaners under 1600w and passports the colour of blood

Pin the national flag on the cod

Game of Schengen: Stop the Malian migrant reaching Sweden using various fun obstacles, such as capsizing, sharks and Hungary

MEP Pension Rights game: Navigate your way through with only Nigel Farage’s moral compass to guide you

Euro-Genital clinic: See how far you can make the Greek national willy shrink by pegging the drachma to the Deutschmark

Fear of The Walking Little Britain : Snipe the adults masquerading as child refugees in a horde at Dover

Ride that bus across the grounds: Enjoy riding roughshod over the Brexit Garden of Truth. Personalised promises available at extra cost

Machine to recalibrate everything from base 10 to base 12: Use rods, chains and poles to accurately measure the ever-increasing distance between Blighty and Johnny Foreigner

Escape Room: Can you leave the EU in time!? A fiendish physical and mental adventure game where, unprepared, unequipped, without a plan and for no good reason, you give yourself two years to leave the EU. First assemble your team – choose the best and brightest. Decide on your strategy – will you deftly negotiate every hurdle you come across, boot it all into the long-grass and see if you can sneak past it later when it’s not looking, or simply threaten to jump off a cliff? Cleverly weigh up risks and rewards to escape in time, or suffer the humiliation of having to beg for an interim extension. Will you Brexit with the holy grail of a preferred bespoke agreement, or escape by the skin of your teeth with a dismal Canada-style deal, or will you be forced to admit defeat and Remain locked in?

Nigel Farage’s ‘Who’s laughing now?’ speech on continuous loop

Interpretation board listing all the things you are now free to do now we no longer languish under the iron heel of Brussels (microscope provided)

Coin tossed by Boris Johnson to decide which way to campaign in the referendum

The ‘Doo-be-dooo’ of a nonchalant David Cameron returning to his lair

Hat tips: cinquecento, Sinnick, Oxbridge, SteveB, Kabirgaryali & Terry Bunn

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2020 by

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