Boris pledges to break ‘world-beating’ New Year pledges

LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 17: British Prime Minister Boris Johnson leaves 10 Downing Street to attend the weekly Prime Minister's Questions on June 17, 2020 in London, England. Yesterday Boris Johnson announced the government would continue to provide free school meal vouchers to eligible children throughout the summer holidays, following a petition by Manchester United footballer, Marcus Rashford. (Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has pledged not only to break all of his New Year pledges again this year, but that they will be world-beating pledges and will be broken in a world-beating way.

‘I’m not going to reduce the amount of lies I tell, I’m going to reduce the amount of lies by a world-beating amount,’ he pledged, acknowledging that that particular pledge was probably out of date the moment he said it, although that acknowledgement could have been a world-beating lie.

‘My attempts at avoiding further parenthood situations will be world-beating,’ Johnson added. ‘I’ll not father sporadic and generally unacknowledged children in a world-beating way,’ he pledged. ‘And I promise to be a world-beating clown.’ To date, nobody has cast any doubt on that one.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2020 by

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