The Government has indicated that the military will be sent to support teachers facing Coronavirus, but from the safety of webinar filmed inside a nuclear bunker. Teachers will be expected to administer a medical procedure for which they have had no training; a bit like asking for a gall bladder operation at McDonalds. All the while, soldiers will help out by chipping in with handy advice, such as ‘Whatever you do don’t go near the blighters’, ‘Shoot at them, just shoot them’ and ‘Get out of there, it’s a death trap!’.
Staff will return to work to run tests – just not the sort of tests they are used to. When asked if he would be facing Secondary School kids, one soldier commented: ‘I’ve done tours of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq but I’m not suicidal’.