In an uncharacteristic outburst that has taken the showbiz world by surprise, news that Ringo Starr is to receive a knighthood in the New Year Honours list has been slammed by former co-star, Thomas the Tank Engine.
Speaking from the sidings at Sodor a clearly angry Thomas said: ‘This is just typical of the injustices within our business. I did all the bloody hard work on that show, being a good little engine. All he had to do was turn up – by the way, half smacked out of his F***ing box more often than not – and read off a script. ‘It’s only because he was in the Beatles he got the gig in the first place.’
The little blue engine went on to complain bitterly of multiple retakes on set as the former Beatle repeatedly fluffed his lines and took interminable ‘comfort breaks’ during shooting: ‘Huh! We all knew what that was about, nudge-nudge wink-wink! And don’t even get me started on Nick sodding Clegg!’
The news is set to rub further salt into the wounds for Thomas, who in recent years had to watch fellow characters Percy and Gordon enjoy considerable post-show career success with appearances on ‘Strictly Come Chugging’ and ‘I’m an Engine Get me Out of Here’. The award of an OBE in 1996 to author Reverend W. Awdry, known by everyone as ‘The Fourth Engine’ was seen by Thomas as a further kick in the buffer stops.
Meanwhile Ringo is said to be cock-a-hoop and looking forward to another investiture day at Buckingham Palace. Speaking to Bob Shabdowski on Channel DYX24 Miami he said: ‘Peace and love, peace and love.’