EU gone but the bloody Normans are still here


The promise of a UK independent of the meddling Europeans seems to have been reneged upon, as 70% of British land is still owned by less than 1% – and all called Percy. The fact that the Normans have been freeloading since 1066, seems to have been overlooked in Brexit negotiations; along with their feudalism and penchant for invading everyone.

As the chimes brought in the New Year, citizens were hoping that the Bayeux tapestry might mention Britain’s fishery policy. Instead, we are left with a ruling class of ersatz Vikings, with down to earth names like ‘Montgomery de Mandeville the Third’ and the dream that Robin Hood will return, with a tariff-free customs market

Even to this day, admission to Oxford or Cambridge is 800% more likely if you have a Norman surname or if you own Sussex. As one descendant of Harold Godwinson said: ‘That’s one in the eye for Brexit’.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2021 by

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