‘The Walk’, a pictorial odyssey, new craze to sweep social media


Families nationwide have collectively discovered the ability to Walk, and are relentlessly documenting the process on social media at every f*cking opportunity.
Matriarchal figures are expressing their social dominance by ensuring all offspring are appropriately layered and beaming, whilst fathers are encouraged to ‘wipe that look off their face’ whilst posing for incessant pictorial records.
Many ‘The Walk’s’ struggle to pass a mile or two in distance as incessant pauses to document features such as ‘The Stile’, ‘A distant sheep’ and ‘Promise of rain?’ interrupt the flow of actual physical movement.
By the third hour of ‘The Walk’ it grows increasingly difficult to threaten pleasant expressions onto the frozen offspring’s faces, so once the potential for creating photographic faux family idylls is reduced, Matriarchs typically concede defeat in their mission to ‘get everyone some fresh air’ and grant an abandonment and return to the nest. Fortunately, by that stage they still haven’t got further than a few hundred yards from the car-park so a swift return home to Sofa, Phones and Fortnite, via McDonalds, can be rapidly achieved.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2021 by

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