American lawmakers were reportedly “touched and thrilled” on Tuesday evening by a sudden surge of interest in their governance of the USA. As eager onlookers flocked into the Capitol building to get a closer look at government in action, [read...]
Frustrated voters suffering from dyscalculia attacked Congress, clamouring to know why Joe Biden’s 306 electoral votes were a larger number than 232. They demanded answers to complex questions of democracy; such as why does 1 plus 1 equal 2 and who gave all the slaves the vote? [read...]
Joe Biden, President-elect and the oldest known relic in America, says he refuses to be controlled by the Trump legacy after analysts calculate the risk of demonic possession at over 85%. ‘There is a clear and present danger of a satanic and evil spirit controlling the Democratic party and turning it into nauseating supernatural horror… [read...]
Sir Keir Starmer has called for ’round the clock’ broadcasts, in order to handle an exponential increase in statistics on Covid infections, hospitalisations and deaths. “We are in a race against time keep up with new variants of lockdown rules, [read...]
Waiting for the last 1% of files to slowly download from a master criminal’s computer is probably not worth the additional stress, everyone has confirmed to sweating TV crime investigators. The news will come as a relief to TV and film cops everywhere, [read...]
