Rioters storm US Capitol to find someone who can count

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Frustrated voters suffering from dyscalculia attacked Congress, clamouring to know why Joe Biden’s 306 electoral votes were a larger number than 232. They demanded answers to complex questions of democracy; such as why does 1 plus 1 equal 2 and who gave all the slaves the vote?

Shots were fired and there were fatalities, after some Trump supporters found an abacus and burnt it as a Witch. Others were left wandering the Capitol halls dazed and confused, as they could not understand the numbers on the doors.

President Trump appealed for calm by hurling a Molotov cocktail through a window. Commented a spokeswoman: ‘If you add up all the votes cast and divide by the number of bullets fired, you get American democracy’.

Sadly the only official working in the Capitol, who knew how to count or spell, last left their job in 1973, never to return. Said one rioter: ‘I can count up to 11 on my toes but those big numbers make my head hurt. All I know is that my vote counts as twice as much as anyone else.’

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2021 by

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