Donald Trump’s Avengers assemble to fight Democrobots

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As one of his final acts in office, President Trump has assembled his very own team of Avengers to save the corporate world from the Democrobots. Led by ‘9-Iron Man’, Donald Trump’s Avengers are committed to upholding the commercial privileges of wealthy sovereign individuals everywhere in the USA.

In a reversal of the campaign ad depicting Donald Trump as Thanos, the president evidently now believes he’s the saviour of the one percent rather than the destroyer of the fifty percent.

“The Democrobots want to take away our means of accumulating great wealth by holding us to account against our will. That’s a bad deal for a tiny fraction of the American people,” explained the 45th president.

“We have to rid America of the evil spread by Bidenbot. That’s why I sent a message on TV for 9-Iron Man to assemble my Avengers. I said: ‘Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV.’

“‘Person’ Is the codename for Captain Construction. ‘Woman’ is Waitress X. ‘Man’ is Bubba Bleach. ‘Camera’, that’s Space Boss. And ‘TV’ is Dow Jones. You don’t wanna mess with those guys, am I right? Sadly, Proud Boy is no longer one of my Avengers since he became Pride Boy. Shame.”

So, when everyone thought i’d taken a cognitive test, I hadn’t. Who needs a bat signal when you’re smart like me?”

Asked where his Avengers were since he called for them to assemble back in July, Donald replied: “Oh, they’ll be here. Right now, they’re on a secret mission in Uran, confiscating enriched Iranium.”

“And when my Avengers overthrow the Democrobots, and the Uranians want their stuff back, maybe we can play golf, do a deal! I’ll get 9-Iron Man to set it up.”

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2021 by

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