Delaware 9th January 2021: In a solemn statement tonight, President-Elect Joe Biden Jr, has announced major new plans which cannot be refuted by Senate – and he’s starting with the White House curtains – or as americans calls them “Drapes”.
“The past four years are the worst ever experienced by the USA for drapes, and we democrats are steadfast in refusing to maintain Trump’s flowery patterns’ insisted Biden ‘These will not persist after the inauguration. Instead we’ll have traditional Democratic orange/peach drapes with matching silver hold-backs, opposing Trump’s gold-effects inferiors.’
Whist the insurrection by Trump and his supporters has been the most explosive political action for over 150 years, Trump supporters have voiced to ‘Make America Drape Again – preferably in flowery patterns and with gold hold-backs.’
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has vowed to restrict Trump’s access to the secret Amazon Prime password to order drapes to be delivered to the White House, citing that she has insisted that Prime deliveries are ‘Left by by the garbage, or his children.’
Pelosi added that if Trump was unable to prevent Biden from ordering his desired colour of drapes ‘He will be in peached, or orange, which I’m sure you will agree is more than a coincidence.’