Almost every person in the UK has maxed out their bank accounts just 12 days into January, despite nothing being open for them to spend their hard-earned money on.
Barely 2 weeks into the new year and people across the country are scratching their heads at why they have so little funds remaining, given nothing apart from their Turkish corner shop is open for business.
“It’s usually raucous Christmas party after raucous party, then a 2 week island holiday booking made for February to recover from said drinking, but this year I’ve done nothing” complained Chris Hollis from Bristol.
“Yet I’ve got £44.12 is my account. Total bullshit”.
For residents in one part of the country there is less confusion. A survey in Essex revealed 85% of people spent Christmas catching Coronavirus in Dubai.