Oedipus left traumatised after appearance on Jeremy Kyle

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The Greek tragedy celebrity is recovering from having his bizarre sex life examined and dissected by the country’s unemployed after he appeared on the popular talk show this morning.

The show saw the most nail-biting wait for DNA results in the its history, after which Oedipus had to be protected from being lynched by a tattooed and salivating audience when the test revealed his wife was also his mother.

The badly shaken guest lamely tried to explain that “things were different in Ancient Greece”, only to be cut short by Kyle: “What about Prince Philip? He’s Greek and he’s lived to be 99 without ever killing or shagging either of his parents. You’re a disgrace, mate”.

After a five-minute lecture by Kyle to the audience about “glorifying criminals” by naming fancy Freudian complexes after them, his guest was allowed to leave.

Meanwhile, debate is raging on Mumsnet about what to do if your son kills his father and then sleeps with you.

Oedipus is understood to have ripped his own eyes out as soon as he got home, “so that he’d never have to watch daytime TV again”.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2021 by

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