As the bureaucratic red tape relating to the UK’s exit from the European Single Market settles down, a Brexit supporting packet of smoked haddock was said to be ecstatic that instead of being consumed and digested by a European, they will instead be left to decay inside a shipping container at Grangemouth Docks.
“This is exactly what I voted for”, the vacuumed packed Piscean comestible cried, “A British fish, killed by British Fisherman, rotting in a British Dock. ”
The packet of smoked haddock wasn’t alone as 14 tonnes of langoustine, caught that very morning off the West Coast of Islay were said to be overjoyed, that after their slow suffocation inside a plastic crate covered in a J-Cloth, their rotting carcases will be thrown back into the ocean.
“At least I’ll get a decent burial at sea”, an 12cm crayfish managed to gasp, “My worst nightmare is to end up in some Flemish gastric juices of a tailor from Bruges.”