Schools minister and leftover Brussel sprout from your nan’s undercooked salmonella spiked Xmas dinner, Gavin Williamson, has decided not to reopen schools when the pandemic ends. The dramatic move has seen strong support from Tory backbenchers, [read...]
Thousands of battle-hardened US troops being hastily pulled out of Afghanistan are reportedly “crying like little girls” on learning of their immediate redeployment to the fib-strewn paramidiotry warzone of Capitol Hill, in readiness for the most underwhelming inauguration since Chuka Umunna, [read...]
The UK’s proud fishing industry has today expressed universal thanks to Fisheries Minister, Victoria Prentis, for paving the way for them to access the highly profitable Yuletide market. “We’re swapping seas for seasonal commerce and couldn’t be happier,” said a jubilant Cornish trawlerman, [read...]
Sir Keir Starmer has announced a plan to develop a political Super Alliance which will focus on green socialist privatisations through the medium of Welsh. The Lib Dems will be included as soon as their principles can be identified. [read...]
