Irritating mentalist and smug self publicist Paul McKenna has finally admitted he has no control over his hair loss. Famed for writing self help tomes with titles such as ‘I can make you thin’, ‘I can make you rich’, ‘I can make you sleep’ and ‘I can make you happy’, the billiard head pundit finally owned up to not even being able to make his hair follicles resurface.
McKenna’s publicist, an obese, unhappy, broke, narcoleptic, said ‘It’s true. This was Paul’s personal challenge having made himself rich, thin and happy. It is the real reason he keeps putting out books with the title ‘I can’. He just wants to have some control, and not being able to control his hair loss, he tries to control other people’s lives.’
In a related development, the publicist refused to comment on whether a new series of self help books all featuring the title ‘I can’t’, exploring McKennas failures, would soon be available.