Despite recently declaring his ideological opposition to the concept of arrows, Jeremy Corbyn has accepted an invitation from the head of the National Union of Bowyers, to speak at their hastily convened High Synod of the Bowmen, held at the base of the Grand Oak in Sherwood Forest.
The invitation, or ‘summons’ as it is termed in the Worshipful Company of Bowmen, was delivered in the traditional manner…wrapped to an arrow and fired from long range through the window of Mr Corbyn’s parliamentary office to lodge, thrumming violently, in his drinks cabinet.
Mr Corbyn moved with alacrity to embark upon his journey northwards, pausing only briefly to inform waiting lobby journalists that he was ‘looking forward to a full and open discussion on the general topic of national archery, but to make clear that he had the very greatest respect for the elm working skills of the nation’s bowmen, and that he was determined that the total irrelevance of their skill set to the nation’s defence would have no relevance whatsoever to their forthcoming pay review, splinter bonus, forest-working payments and lumbago protection insurance’. A pale-faced Mr Corbyn joined his waiting mule train and commenced his journey immediately.
Shortly after he left, police arrested a Mr Saul Fletcher who stormed the House of Parliament wielding his dirk and screaming abuse, apparently intending to thrash Mr Corbyn with seventy sheaves of willow staves that he now had going spare.