New office manager saddened by lack of inauguration ceremony


When Martin Critchley secured the position of office manager at Office Universe Ltd, he was left stunned by the lack of an inauguration ceremony. “There was nothing. I was introduced to the head of the accounts and sales departments, shown a short HR video on company policies, and that was it. Crack on!

“I know Office Universe aren’t of the same organisational magnitude as the USA, but I at least expected a heavily-armed motorcade. Not even an Uber turned up, I had to drive myself there, and I even went the wrong way and missed the parade.”

Accounts manager, Geraldine Smith, commented: “Martin seemed very nice, he was smiling and waving a lot, and his speech was lovely. But I’m sure he was expecting a more grandiose welcome than we gave him. Maybe if he had shared some home-baking it might have been different.”

Martin added: “I should have guessed when my wife said she’d join me on the podium later, as she had to wait for her hat to come out of the tumble dryer… We don’t have a tumble dryer.”

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2021 by

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