Fronted adverbials declare independence


The Fronted Adverbials Liberation Front (motto: Before Long, We Will Overcome) has declared independence from the United Kingdom in a move which has surprised civil servants and really pissed off the Scots and Welsh.

“I had to look them up” said one Permanent Secretary, an Oxbridge graduate. “I went from not knowing they existed to drawing up contingency plans for a revolution”.

Education Secretary Gavin Williamson said he felt ‘vindicated’ about his decision to force all 7 year-olds to learn about Fronted Adverbials. “It’s a dangerous world”, he told journalists. “We can’t just wrap our children up in cotton wool, they have to know about these things”, before adding “we don’t teach them about Homophones till 6th Form – no point giving them nightmares”.

The Fronted Adverbial separatist movement has been building for some time, though nobody noticed because – well, nobody had heard of them. Until lockdown, that is, when parents turned teacher and discovered the elegant grandeur of the Gavin Williamson curriculum.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2021 by

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