Boris’s vaccine shame: none of his chums profited

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Boris Johnson should be enjoying the EU’s contortions over their vaccine contract, but it has simply made matters worse for him with the people who matter.

“It’s been non-stop wedgies all day”, said a source. “It isn’t Boris’s fault. Not really. It’s one thing contracting with a mate who has a soft furnishings consultancy to provide a billion quid’s worth of PPE – you can buy that stuff anywhere. Well, you can’t, obvs, but you can pretend. Nobody was going to believe that a bunch of hoorays with one GCSE between them have developed an RNA vaccine. I doubt they could spell ‘RNA’, let alone manipulate it”.

The PM remains tight-lipped on the billions of pounds spent with random posh people on non-existent PPE, but that’s to be expected: the first rule of Chum Club is ‘you do not talk about Chum Club’.

Our source said there are some positives for the PM. “Oh definitely. He’s enjoying the press he’s getting. I saw him practising with a cigar earlier. Churchill, not Clinton”.

 

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Posted: Feb 2nd, 2021 by

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