VR revolutionizes gaming – and by ‘gaming’ we mean p$rn

VR MAN

Scientists predict that Virtual Reality headsets will transform the way we experience computer games and, more importantly, how we see undulating breasts. Studies reveal that most gamers spend their first 10 minutes of a new headset exploring apps and the next year wading through Pornhub.

Said one user: ‘It was insane. Suddenly I was this plumber, and my client was wearing nothing more than suspenders and a basque. It was utterly immersive, so much so that I stayed to install her new shower. Then I invoiced her £200. It felt so real!’

Some gamers have complained that virtual hands are clumsy, but others say that adds to the realism of any sexual encounter. You can download any combination of fetish, provided it always entails you standing naked in your sitting room, with what looks like a margarine tub strapped to your face.

There have been complaints that the battery life of one hour, will be problematical – said one user: ‘I lived out my most depraved, erotic fantasy. There were dozens of orifices and a multitude of adult toys. I did things that would make Marquis de Sade blush. But when it was over, I still had 58 minutes to fill’.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2021 by

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