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UAE probe successfully docks with dissident’s genitals
After a torturous countdown the probe delivered a payload of electricity to the genitals of an orbiting political dissident. [read...]
Daily Archives: February 9, 2021
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UK terrorism threat level lowered to ‘substantial’ – like a pub meal
Britain’s threat level has been downgraded to that of a scotch egg or basket of cheesy chips. In line with their guidance on Tier 2 eating, any terrorist activities must have the nutritional value of a full English breakfast. [read...]
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Exports of wishful thinking down by 68%, say hauliers
Mr Gove insisted the hold-up is only temporary and that soon every lorry driver in Great Britain will be accompanied by a dusky maiden bearing libations of honeyed ale and KFC bargain buckets. [read...]