Covid Research Group not really understanding the word ‘Research’

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A group of lockdown-sceptic back-bench MPs have tried to give the impression of thoughtful scientific study, by dropping in the word ‘Research’ – in place of ‘Dumbwittery’. This was the same tactic adopted by the European Research Group, or as they were originally known ‘Europe? What’s that? Is it the Isle of Wight?’.

As marketing rebrands go, it ranks up alongside the ‘Millwall Peace & Reconciliation Bushwhackers’, ‘Prince Andrew’s Boarding School for Wayward Girls’ and ‘Jo Swinson’s ever popular Liberal Democrats’.  Ultimately it feels like they have not grasped the irony of using the word Research, particularly when they have only one CSE in Metal Work between the lot of them.

The group’s policies seem to range from treating Covid like it is an attack of trapped wind to protecting the public by licking all the door handles.  There is very little scientific data to back their easing of Lockdown, other than it will be easier to get a table at Ritz, once all the proles are back at work.

Said one CRG member: ‘We’ve researched Covid extensively and we can confirm it’s a village in Wales’.

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Posted: Feb 17th, 2021 by

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