Editors say they are sitting on a tsunami of stock photos featuring pretty young blondes jumping for joy, husky brunettes flashing a bit of side boob and excited red heads texting a friend.
‘The public are tired of seeing granny and grandpa having their vaccination jab….it was OK for a while but enough is enough. It is time to move on. We need to get back to our regular front-pages….borderline porn, images of scantily clad teens pouting at the camera and lads with a strategically placed shuttlecock stuffed down their jeans.
‘Readers want to see a soft-skinned arm next to an enormous cleavage….not liver spots and a shopping trolley. They want to see nubile young flesh….not something a pack of ravenous hyenas would have turned down’.