Russell Brand finally uses all of the words – just in one sentence


The vlogger, guru, and winner, in 12 B.C. of Nazareth’s Messiah of the Year competition, has finally combined the whole of the Oxford English Dictionary into one sentence.  Pausing only for breath and sustenance, Mr. Brand managed to use every known word, several unknown words and 206 euphemisms for willies.

What started about a quip about kittens, soon spiralled into a metaphysical discussion of the existence of Blamanche, lasting for 48 days, without a comma in sight.  The comedian is said to be proud of his achievement but upset that not everyone followed what he said.

One linguist noted that Mr. Brand used no actual full stops but somehow ended every third word with an exclamation mark.  She observed the torrent of dialogue: ‘It’s like you’d asked Boris Johnson to recite the Yellow Pages in Latin’.

The scale of verbiage was such, that there was a fear that any legitimate point he was making might got lost, just like his last beard comb.  Asked if she thought he had made any sense: ‘To paraphrase Eric Morecombe, he was using all the right words, just not in the right order’.

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2021 by

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