The PM explained: ‘Matty-boy’s been an absolute brick through the pandemic. He’s followed the instructions that I’ve given him, that were given to me, then given to me again because I’d fallen asleep, to the letter.
‘My Right Honourable friend deserves his self-catering fortnight above a karaoke bar in Newquay, and we will ensure the data fits so he gets it! We’ve done it with everything else without consequence, why not this?
‘It’s not just the Health Secretary, we aim to be able to have controlled the transmission of coronavirus enough for everyone to take a holiday, or pay a short visit to Amanda Holden’s parents’ house at least once this summer’.