Tesla’s boss has seen his fortune shrink from an ‘insanely, disgustingly, uber number of bajillions’ to just a mere disgusting number of bajillions. This has meant he will have to cut his cloth accordingly, if by cloth you mean something the size of Belgium.
A spokeswoman confirmed: ‘It’s been a humbling experience for Mr. Musk, he has had to cease building condos on the Moon and has had to stop putting diamonds on his cornflakes. He has also had to shelve plans to buy up New Zealand and turn it into a themed skate park’.
This means Jeff Bezos will return to the top of the rich list, having spent the last few months panhandling in downtown LA. Mr. Bezos had been surviving on welfare cheques, off-cuts of discarded meat and was down to his last gazillion.
Mr. Musk promised to regain his position at the top of the rich list, by pursuing his dream of patenting oxygen. A friend commented: ‘Elon has always said that money can’t buy you happiness, mainly because Bill Gates already owns 99% of the share options in happiness. Remember what Jesus said, the geek shall inherit the earth’.