The U.S. space agency is reportedly disappointed with the first images it received from the Perseverance Rover this week. “It’s just a bunch of rocks and dirt,” said spokesperson Leon Pike. ‘It’s not even particularly red – more sort of a brownish orange.’
The mood at the agency has apparently been sour as many fear they may have wasted billions of dollars getting to a planet that has the charisma of Matt Handcock’s used handkerchief.
Scientists were particularly upset at the lack of alien life. ‘We were banking on there being a Martian welcoming party with some Alf-like beings, or at the very least some of the aliens from Space Jam,’ Said Pike. ‘If I’d known we were just looking for the ancient remains of some microscopic organisms I wouldn’t have turned down that job with the Space Force.’