Naturalists have confirmed that North American Hummingbird has faked knowing the words to the Star-Spangled Banner. Instead, they have been hiding at the back of the choir, mouthing the lyrics, and occasionally humming in a predictable, but tuneless fashion.
These clueless, miniature birds have regularly mashed up ‘Cotton Eyed Joe’ with the words from ‘Mambo No.5’. While their attempt at the USA’s national anthem usually ends –
‘And the smar-smingled bonner in something something wave,
O’er the gland of the tree and the blah of the wave?
Is it wave again, is that right?’
I’m sure there’s a bit about liking figgy pudding, it’s the same tune.’
As an encore, hummingbirds will often try to navigate themselves through the more unintelligible parts of ‘Come on Eileen’, humming the sections they cannot understand, which is approximately 99%. A spokeswoman for hummingbirds said: ‘Mmphff mmm mmm hmmm’.