In a medical breakthrough that brings hope to millions, The European Medicines Agency has approved a new vaccine that damages the eardrums while preventing nausea and vomiting. The race is on to immunise as many people as possible before the Eurovision Song Contest is broadcast in May.
The UK has already immunised 6 million people, although the method of injecting directly into their ears has proved controversial.
Singer-songwriter James Newman has received his jab and is looking forward to performing his satirical Brexit song ‘Boom-Banga-Bust.’ Newman faced stiff competition in the UK’s competition runoffs, only narrowly beating Brotherhood of Mans ‘Save All Your Vaccines for Me.’
This year’s favourites are the host nation’s entry, ‘Bim-Bommy-Hey-Bim-Bommy-Hoo.’ Inmates of the Dutch Asylum for the Criminally Insane will perform the song wearing the traditional national costume of jackets with tight-fitting leather straps. In a Eurovision first, Israel and Azerbaijan have teamed up to perform their moving ballad ‘Geography Was Never My Strongest Point.’