Watergate hotel franchise unable to keep up with gate-themed scandals

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The owners of the Watergate complex in Washington DC have admitted they are unable to continue to maintain all properties named after scandals since 1972 suffixed with the word ‘gate’, while building new ones for current scandals.

The Watergate scandal, so named after the hotel complex in which President Nixon was complicit in a break-in of Democratic Headquarters leading to his impeachment, sparked off a steady stream of ‘gate’ scandals and media fetishes to the current day, despite them having no previous connection to the titular Watergate office building itself, or gates.

A spokesperson for the developers said: ‘To be honest, some of the scandals seem to be rather trivial, based as they are on celebrities. Nipple-gate, Squidgy-gate and Fridge-gate are all but forgotten, yet no one thinks about the pressure this puts on us in terms of designing and building an entire hotel complex for each one, and that’s before you factor in paying the staff. The Blobby-gate convention centre can still be let out for events but the rooms remain empty 90% of the time.’

He added: ‘In the days of Irangate we were able to stay afloat thanks to the high level of interest in the Iran-contra affair internationally, plus the Irangate Hotel’s excellent conference facilities and transport links, though the daily crop of minor scandals today leaves us in the constant state of catch-up. We’ve no sooner erected the Sharpiegate hotel and integral shopping centre when Salmondgate kicks off. Sadly, these days it only takes a few people on Twitter to coin the term when commenting on a celebrity tiff or political faux pas, and off we go again.’

‘If people just stopped calling things ‘gate’ all this extra work wouldn’t be necessary.’

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2021 by

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