Scientists have confirmed that film actor Elijah Wood has remained at the age of 15 since 1995, a disorder called ‘Noel Gallagher’s disease’. Through a mix-up between the Fountain of Eternal Youth, a Botox injection and the dying wish of Walt Disney, Wood has been trapped in the body of a young boy. This also allegedly happened to Michael Jackson, but he later settled out of court.
Most child actors find fame early but only Elijah Wood has managed to remain a child. By contrast, Daniel Radcliffe is 31 and is ageing at an alarming rate, destined to eventually become Wood’s father. Some believe that the secret of his youth is an exclusive Gwyneth Paltrow skincare regime, made from anal glands, while others suggest it is exposure to a very different One Ring. It is also rumoured that Wood has a painting of a wizened Mickey Rourke in his attic, not because he is sucking the life out of Mr Rourke but simply, who wants a painting of Mickey Rourke in their house?