World famous interior designer Carrie Symonds has wowed fashion experts by using unpublished NHS contracts to wallpaper a toilet at Number 10, Downing Street. Symonds, who is an expert in anything that takes her fancy, surprised interior decorators with her choice of material as Boris Johnson spaffs up the walls on a regular basis. However, Miss Symonds is confident any mess can be quickly wiped away or hidden by Matt Hancock.
Earlier this month the Prime Minister insisted his toilet walls are transparent and available for everyone to see. The Department for Health has signed-off millions of pounds worth of deals during the pandemic, much of which has been flushed down the crapper. The High Court has since ruled Matt Hancock acted unlawfully when he failed to disclose a number of lucrative contracts. In his defence, Hancock said it would be best if the public gave this one ten minutes.